Family conflicts

Misunderstanding, stress or innate temperament can be triggers of family conflicts. Every family dynamic is different. But certain developmental stages have their own risks – for example, young children often react with anger when they are not understood, whereas teens tend to push against authority and test boundaries as they try to get more freedom from parents. Stressful as conflicts are, they can also be constructive and a learning curve – for example, teaching a child about relationships and conflict resolution, which can help them in adulthood.

Children

Conflicts are part of every child’s development, but during certain stages they react more strongly than others. Children like to cope with things and if they can’t manage something or feel they’ve failed, they are often frustrated and angry. Young children tend to show their anger and frustration by screaming, biting and throwing things around. Children can have an outbreak when:

• adults make demands
• they cannot control their impulses
• they have difficulty dealing with disappointments.

Some children have outbursts of rage more than others, but as the child gets older, these outbreaks tend to decrease.

Teenagers

When a child enters their teens, they have often developed more self-control and their rage outbursts usually become fewer. At the same time, however, the process of liberating from their parents has begun, which can lead to the parent being questioned, criticized and even provoked. As a parent of teens, you should do everything you can to protect your child, while at the same time supporting their journey into confident and independent adulthood.

To create a safe relationship with your child you can:

• simply talk with your child
• focus on what the child is doing well
• listen to the child, ask questions that show your interest
• have fixed routines
• have clear rules
• prepare the child for what will happen, and its consequences, for example: “Soon we will eat – so finish the game now”
• deal with your own anger as a parent
• think about what usually triggers conflicts, and how you act during and after them, so you can preempt and avoid unnecessary dramas.

• if conflicts occur very often
• if conflicts affect the child so they have problems at school/with friends
• if you as a parent can’t handle the conflicts on your own
• if conflicts become violent

APPOTEK can help you manage family conflicts through counseling and parental support with a psychologist.